


So Many Thoughts In My Mind

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak-centric, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, but of course they don't know that because theyre stupid, im projecting again, kind of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 14:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14979047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Richie helps Eddie find a dance partner for prom. Eddie only wants to dance with him.





	So Many Thoughts In My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> HI IM PROJECTING AGAIN 
> 
> this is really gay and cute please enjoy

Prom night. It’s supposed to be the night of everyone’s life. Where people gain courage to ask their crush to dance, have their first kiss, or even their first time. Of course, that’s only with straight people in movies, and Eddie is neither straight nor in a movie. It’s also 1992 so asking the boy he likes to prom would never be the best idea. So here he is, watching all of his friends dance with their date, watching the love of his life and best friend, have an amazing time.

“So, remind me why you came to prom if you aren’t even to move your ass out of your seat?”

Eddie lifts his head from his hand and stares at Richie. “Fuck off Rich, it’s not my fault I didn’t get asked by anyone.”

“And you couldn’t have asked anyone?”

“I.. I was waiting for a sign.”

Richie sits next to him, “Did you not receive one?”

Eddie shakes his head, “They, uh. They already had a date.” Richie raises an eyebrow at him, “Don’t look at me like that.. I was really going to ask.”

“You like someone?”

“.. Yeah. But they aren’t into me, so.”

Richie leans in closer and Eddie sucks in a breath and holds it, “They cute?”

Eddie nods and allows himself to breathe again, “The cutest.”

There is silence for a moment, but then Richie straightens his back, and Eddie can practically see a light bulb go off in his head. Oh no.

Eddie sighs, “This should be good.. What’re you thinking?”

“Get up, I’m gonna introduce you to someone,” Richie tugs at Eddie’s hand, trying to pull him up but he won’t budge, “stop deadweighting yourself. Get up,” he repeats, “you’re being a partypooper.”

“Richie, please-”

“Bev, over here!” Richie cuts him off and Eddie gives him a look.

“You’re introducing me to Bev? Have you forgotten that I’m also friends with her?” Eddie pulls his hand back.

“Listen, you’re not dancing with anybody because all the pretty girls have dates, right? Well, Bev will gladly dance with you. Ya said it yourself, spaghetti- she’s your friend!”

And that’s that. Eddie observes Richie and Bev talking a few feet away, and he feels stupid. Stupid that he could even think that Richie would even like him back, because Richie doesn’t even realize that his best friend isn’t even to girls.

“Hey, Stud,” Bev grins and pushes Eddie’s arm playfully, “You up for a dance?”

“You just feel bad for me.”

Bev rolls her eyes, “Come on, Eddie.” 

She grips Eddie’s wrist gently and removes him from his chair.

A slow song is on and Eddie clears his throat, “Should we wait for the next song?”

“Don’t be silly,” Bev wraps her arms around her friend’s neck and pulls him closer.

“Ben won’t be mad that I’m dancing with you?” Eddie inches his hand toward her waist, barely holding her.

“Eddie,” Bev laughs, “If he is mad, then there’s a problem. Besides, we’re all friends, and we all know you’re into someone else, anyway.”

He squeaks,  _ “What?” _

“Yeah, Richie said you like a girl but she is with someone else.”

“Right,” Eddie nods.

Beverly studies Eddie’s face, “Did Richie lie? You don’t like anybody at all, do you?”

“No, no, I do..”

Her eyes light up, “It’s.. not a girl, is it?”

Eddie swallows, and Bev rubs the back of his neck and speaks before he can. “It’s okay, Eddie.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “it’s not.”

“Who is he?” Bev asks as Eddie twirls her. She laughs, “not bad, Kaspbrak.”

“Bev.. I’m in love with Richie.”

“I know,” she smiles, “so, why are you dancing with me?”

“Were you not there when it happened? I’ll remind you: Richie called you over and told you I needed a dance partner and then you dragged me to the floor.” Eddie makes a face, “Forget so soon?”

Bev rolls her eyes, “Asshole.. I  _ meant  _ why are you dancing with  _ me  _ when you could be dancing with your boy?”

“He’s not my boy.”

“He could be.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow and sighs. He just knows it doesn’t work like that. It is definitely not like a movie. He can’t just waltz over to his crush, his  _ gay  _ crush, and profess his love to him like some _ Romeo and Juliet _ type shit. His town is homophobic and he knows that he and Richie could never be together. They would have to hide their relationship and-  _ wait.  _

“Richie’s straight. Don’t get my hopes up.”

Bev taps her lip, “hmm, but  _ is  _ he?”

Eddie swallows, “Uh.. what do you mean?”

“Richie doesn’t even know that I know, but a few weeks ago when we got drunk together, he told me that he’s bisexual.”

“That doesn’t automatically mean he’s into me, just because he likes boys, too.”

Bev stops her movements, stops the swaying of her hips and just stills. She moves her hands to Eddie’s face and holds his cheeks, “babe. I love you, I do. But you need to make a move. It’s so obvious to everyone that you need to be together-”

“Obvious to everyone but the two people who would be in the said relationship?” Eddie removes her hands from his face, “Bev, I love you too, but you don’t need to lie to make me feel better. I’m just.. I’m never going to find anyone ever, because I’m gay.”

Bev frowns, “Eddie, don’t talk like that..” 

“I need some air.”

Eddie backs away from his friend and turns around, walking out of the ballroom.

Once he’s outside, he looks around to make sure nobody is near, and screams. Just screams. He wants to drown out the music that’s still loud enough for him to hear.

“You okay?”

Eddie jumps and whips himself around, “Stop sneaking up on me, you scared the shit out of me.”

Richie raises his hands in defense, “Hey, I saw you run out and wanted to make sure that you’re good.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why did you run out on Bev?”

“I didn’t want to dance anymore,” Eddie lies.

Richie walks closer to his friend and pouts, “does that mean you don’t want to dance with me? I’ve been saving one for you all night.”

“No, you haven’t been. You’ve been with what’s-her-face the entire night.”

“Yeah, I was doing her a big favor.”

Eddie looks at the other boy “That’s disgusting.”

Richie tilts his head, “What?” pauses. “Oh my god, no, Eddie, not like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her parents had been suspecting that she’s gay, so she asked me to prom so they would stop questioning her.”

Eddie traces his finger along the building’s edge, “You didn’t ask her because you like her?”

“No, I didn’t.” Richie notices Eddie’s nervous tics and stills his hand, “I was going to ask someone else, actually. Had the whole thing planned, you know? But there’s always next year. I heard prom is way better when you’re a senior, rather than a junior, anyway.”

Eddie’s heart is pounding, pounding,  _ pounding,  _ and Richie is now millimeters in front of him, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Richie nods, “And I don’t want junior year to suck anyway, soo..,” he trails off.

“Sooo?” Eddie repeats, curiously.

“Soo.. will you dance with me?”

Eddie swallows, “what, right here?”

“Yeah,” Richie breathes out, “right here.”

“Right now?”

“Right now,” Richie says and reaches for Eddie’s hand.

Eddie thinks he’s now hard of breathing because he feels dizzy and his entire body is tingling. 

“There’s nobody around to see us dancing close,” Richie mutters, as if he could read Eddie’s mind and what he was fearing.

“Okay,” and Eddie’s wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck, just like Bev had done with him, only this time it felt right.

Richie places his hands on Eddie’s hips, drawing him closer. He feels the smaller boy’s hesitance to rest his head on his shoulder, and he squeezes him in reassurance.

“Are you alright?” Richie asks for a second time. He thinks Eddie will tell him the truth this time.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

Richie’s eyes flicker to Eddie’s lips and back to his eyes, “just alright?”

Eddie’s throat feels really dry and his mind is screaming at him that somehow this is all just a trap, but he just doesn’t know how. “I think this is the best I’ve felt in a long time,” lets his eyes wander to his friend’s lips, too. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch your signs,” Richie says, “I would’ve asked you first.”

“You were going to ask me?” Eddie thinks his heart is doing flips at this point. He wants to believe that whatever is happening, that it means something to Richie, too. That he’s not just overthinking it all.

“I needed a sign, too, you know.”

Eddie swallows, and thinks  _ this has to be it, this has to mean something _ , forgets every negative thing, forgets everything that could possibly go wrong in this very moment, and leans in, his breath against Richie’s cheek, and their lips merely touching; he grasps his neck and tugs him down into a soft and chaste kiss.

“Is that a good enough sign?” 

Richie’s eyes are still closed when he nods, “Can I kiss you again?”

Eddie grins and angles his head up again to press his lips against the taller boy’s. “I’ve been stressing about this very moment since I had my gay crisis.”

Richie touches his cheek, “The  _ I-think-i’m-in-love-with-my-best-friend  _ gay crisis?” 

“That’s exactly the one.”

**Author's Note:**

> i love me some validation
> 
>  
> 
> also u can find me @ richietoaster on tumblr


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